Sunday, June 27, 2010

It is our weaknesses and wounds that wait for us at the end of our lives, when our strength fades. Those who have played out their lives being strong will find this hardest to accept. But there is no choice and there is even a kind of hope in this. It is our wounds and weakness that have always made us who we are. They are what, to those who know us best, are lovable and human in us. A man cannot live life without this. For what is there at the end is not strength but sadness, and still love and hope. If there is someone to love us for that weak humanity, for that wound we have hidden in all our strength and pride, there can be love; there can be home and hope.
I was a little skeptical and doubtful about what I could offer and give. However on this trip I realized, we (volunteers) plan to give and give and give in whatever ways we can help to these people, we think about what we are going to build and how noble we are. In the end, it is we who are actually on the receiving end. At the end of each activity or interaction, it is we who learned more, we who benefitted more by realizing how different and how fortunate we are, we who feel more blessed because what we give in life makes us who we are. These people will always be there and probably never leave their community. They have all they need and comfortable with what they have. Going there and being part of that community showed me that there was nothing I could offer except to spend time with them and learn more about their culture and lifestyle. We were the ones who were constantly at awe with the things that they did and food that they eat.
Communities like this share a special uniqueness, that special bond where everyone is family despite not being of the same bloodline.
What I took away from this trip with me was the fact that no matter how different we are in terms of skin color, language, race, religion, the people there are still exceptionately friendly and kind and concern about your well being. I got stung by a hornet on one of the days there and it was quite painful, giving me two days of bad headache and I could not participate in most of the activities. However the village people were really concerned and they kept coming up to me and asking whether I was fine. They even stood around me and watch me as I slept. Who was I to them? They could have just put me aside on a bed and attend to their daily needs but they choose to look after me even though it meant bringing me to their village “witch doctor”. I was very touched and warmed by their gesture and it showed me, that humanism was very real there and like us, they are also human beings with a curiosity for life.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

flipping through the pages i start to ponder if memories are all we have about ourselves...
did i take the time to sit back and reflect on situations or events that are actually bliss or agony in my life or did i just merely cast them aside in my hunger for new adventures...but what have i learnt then????
the stories told mimic the actual shadows of memories I have kept locked up in my mind…never willing or rather intentionally wanting to relive it?...and I kept asking myself why?...am I too happy or satisfied with the way things are?
It does not seem so…
I see him replacing the faces of the characters in the book as I pondered what he would write if he was the author of the book…I never did asked her about her days as it would be too embarrassing…it is something between all of us…it runs in us or maybe just me not to appear sensitive or emotional but how would they feel?...
Is it a good idea for me to ask, am I too selfish to make their memories seem like a treasure concealed in a box and left to rot at the bed of the deepest ocean?....
I cannot bring myself to think about that…all I feel now is that I want to be transported back to the time when I could have changed things…changed the outcome of my ways…but how much could I have change if things that happened now was the reason that shaped my destiny….

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

life's necessities are found even in exile, excesses not even in kingdoms. it is the mind that creates wealth, and this goes with us into exile and in the harsh deserts, it is enough to feed the body and revel in the enjoyment of its goods
- seneca
kindness among strangers is a magic that cannot be commanded!!!!!